On the way back, my emotions were out of control and I almost collapsed. I became very manic and wanted to crash into red lights and traffic jams. The pressure was too great and it was too uncomfortable. I wanted to find someone to talk to, and I wanted someone to understand me. Unfortunately, there was no one. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t even find a place to cry bitterly. People are worse than dogs when they reach middle age. Men are very fragile. I am far from being strong enough to support this dilapidated family alone without a word of comfort. I can face the wind and rain, but I need spiritual comfort and the love of my family. Now I am cold inside and don’t feel a trace of warmth from my family. All I get is endless complaints, complaints, and misunderstandings. What did I do wrong? Why do I have to bear such a great punishment? I never imagined that my life would be so miserable. My eldest daughter was severely depressed and attempted suicide many times. My youngest daughter had facial paralysis, but we didn’t even notice it. Now it is irreversible and she has permanent disabilities.  Now, my left eye is 225 degrees myopic, and my eyes are dry. I cannot wear orthokeratology lenses, and can only wear framed glasses. Moreover, my congenital cornea is too thin, so I will not be able to undergo femtosecond surgery in the future. I have diabetes and lumbar disc herniation. My work is not satisfactory, there is no hope of promotion, and the salary is low. I am in debt. All credit cards and online loans. This is my current life situation. Am I not working hard enough? Am I not kind enough? I can’t help crying when I see beggars. If there is a God, please save me. I really can’t hold on any longer. I went home and drank a little wine with stinky tofu, but it didn’t help. I wanted to go out for a lumbar massage, but damn, there was a long queue.